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My Love/Hate Relationship with Target

We’ve all seen them. The Target memes, articles about how great Target is, the parodies of the girls who go into Target for toilet paper, spend a hundred dollars and forget the toilet paper. This post is not that. This is about my love/hate relationship with the popular store.

Let me set the scene. I have the day off work to prepare for a baby shower I’m hosting at my house. It’s two days before the party and I’m finishing up last minute things, including a Target run. I arrive at the store and am immediately side-tracked. 20 minutes wasted browsing for things that I do not need and have absolutely no intention of buying. Except these two lamps. And this candle. My guests are going to need a candle in their bathroom. But the candle was only $6.00, so it’s basically free.

On to the back of the store to buy those throw pillows for my patio. As I approach the pillows, I notice that there aren’t as many as when I was here the other day and I start to panic. What if that seahorse pillow is gone?!? Will I have to order it online? It won’t come in time for my party! I wonder if they have two day shipping – oh thank god, here it is. Ok, I only really “need” 3. But 4 would be fine. I have 5 in my cart. I really need to see them in my space. I literally skip for joy as I push my cart. This is where the story takes a turn…

Now on to groceries. I’m making cucumber sandwiches that are delicious and always a crowd-pleaser, so I’m going to need cream cheese, cucumbers and these little rye bread sandwich squares. I grab a few other dairy items and make my way to garbage bags. Check my list. Damn, I forgot the cream cheese. Back to the dairy aisle.

On to get the remaining groceries. Random item on my list: water chestnuts for lettuce cups I saw on Pinterest. Can’t find water the chestnuts. Check by the canned vegetables. Are water chestnuts a vegetable?? Check several other aisles where I think said chestnuts could be, thrashing back and forth through the aisles like a starving wild animal scavenging for scraps of food. Can’t find them. Am irritated. I look for a Target employee. Can’t find one. I’ll go get cucumbers, at least I know where the cucumbers are. I need a time-out anyway.

I can’t find the rye bread, normally they keep that in the front with the other breads. They must have moved it when they renovated the store. Why couldn’t they keep the store how it was? It looks great, but now I can’t find anything and I spend 20 minutes looking for obscure ingredients for these “low-carb” recipes I have been making as a tactic to counteract the fact that I haven’t been to the gym in 3 months. True life: my pants are tight.

Finally, I spot a red shirt and practically “super market sweep” myself over to her. “Where are your rye bread squares?!?” I demand. She should know how frustrated I am with their lack of organization. “Right over here,” she says with a smile on her face. Back to the water chestnuts and the scavenging. FOUND EM! I nearly squeal with delight. Time to get the hell out of here.

*My cart upon departure.*
See ya on the next post!
-The Chic(ish) Chick
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