Sh*t My Husband Says: Part 2

My husband recently celebrated a birthday. I promised to buy him an air fryer so he could make wings at home. I know, we are so romantic. I joke around sometimes that I’m the better half, but if I’m telling the truth, it’s a toss up. I feel lucky to be married to someone who makes me laugh every single day so as a tribute to him and his day of birth, I give to you: Sh*t My Husband Says: Part 2. You can read the first installment here.

  • Brian: I’m going out to snow blow. Me: Ok, would you please clear off the sidewalk to the house? You skipped it the last time. Brian: Why? We come in through the garage. Me: I have friends over sometimes. And besides, the Fed Ex man won’t be able to deliver my packages. Brian: You say Fed Ex man like you’re not on a first name basis with him.

  • *I share several tile samples with my husband* Me: Do you like any of these tiles for the bathroom? Brian: What am I supposed to be feeling right now? Me: Excited!! Like OMG these are amazing! Brian: Then, no.

  • Let’s not forget about our on-going pillow debate. We are planning to order new chairs for our basement and ideally, I would like one pillow for each chair and one throw blanket for just one of the chairs. Here is an actual screen shot our conversation. The order for the chairs has not been placed, therefore the pillow debate has not been resolved.

  • *While watching a women’s prison show* Me: I would not survive in prison. Brian: Sweetie, I’m worried about you getting out of the house if the power goes out.

  • *During dinner on a random weeknight* Brian: Whoever first decided to put cheese on bread is a damn genius!

  • *While watching a random TV show together* Brian: That girl likes a lot of cheek make-up! Me: I’m sorry, cheek make-up? Brian: Yeah! She looks like The Joker!

  • Me: What do you want for dinner tonight? I have no energy to cook. Brian: Well, we can’t order Casey’s pizza because you’re gone this week and let’s face it, I’m ordering Casey’s this week because I can’t function when you’re gone. You know…I used to be so independent but I don’t know what’s happened to me.

Well, kids that’s all for now. Stay tuned for the next installment.

See ya next time!

-The Chic(ish) Chick

*All gifs sourced from



  1. Steph
    June 22, 2018 / 4:46 pm

    Love this!

  2. Alison
    July 26, 2018 / 6:27 pm

    Funniest thing I’ve read all week!!

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