Last year on Valentine’s Day, I asked my husband to bring a dozen donuts to my office instead of buying me flowers. I have a weakness for donuts. Always have. Always will. In exchange, I honored him with a post completely dedicated to him and the hilarious things he says. #wifeoftheyear! I later followed up on that post and started a new series called Sh*t My Husband Says. You can read part 1 here and part 2 here.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Husband. Thanks for making me laugh every single day and always singing the wife song. And don’t stop trying to impress me ok? Because at some point, your good looks are going to fade. Without further ado, I bring to you Sh*t My Husband Says: Part 3.
- Me: “How do you like my new kimono?” Husband: “You are wearing our kitchen towels.” *Looks down.*
- *Both watch a commercial for a new, low calorie Corona on the market.* Me thinking to myself: “Ooh. That looks good. I want to try that.” Husband: “They just came out with a Corona for basic b*tches!” Me:
- Me: “WTF is Dover sole?” Husband: “What…” Me: “Yeah, this menu says butter roasted Dover sole with lemon capers.” Husband: “Yep, somethin’ stupid. Anything with capers is stupid.”
- A year later and nothing has changed. Always complaining about my packages…
- Me: “Will the vegans be mad at me for making that comment or will they have a sense of humor about it?” Husband: “Do vegans have a sense of humor? I think they lose that when they stop eating meat.”
- Husband: “I have a question for you. If a video blogger is a vlogger, is a fashion blogger a flogger? I’ve been thinking about this for a solid three weeks.”
- Somehow, I was able to convince my husband into going to Trader Joe’s with me. As we are leaving Trader Joe’s he says to me: “I need to go spend some time in my basement to wash the smell of hipsters off of me.”
I hope you enjoyed this edition of SMHS!
See ya next time!
-The Chic(ish) Chick
*All gifs sourced through giphy.com.