When I turned 30, someone said to me: “It only gets better from here.” I’m now 33 but remember thinking at the time, “WTF is she talking about? How could life get any better than it is right now?” If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know if I fully understand her statement but I have started to notice a number of life changes as I compare my life now versus life in my 20’s. Good or bad – I’ll let you be the judge of that. If you’re reading this and still in your 20’s, you can thank me later for preparing you.
1.) Your face is like a war zone. I am constantly battling blemishes and fighting off wrinkles on the daily. And when I say blemish, I mean giant red craters pulsing to their own heartbeat. Sorry, that was a little graphic but a 100% accurate description. I was not prepared for this. I thought wrinkles appeared much later in life and was certain the minute I turned 30, my issues with pimples and oily skin would suddenly disappeared from my life all together. Boy was I WRONG. This is not what I signed up for.
2.) Life in your 30’s can be summed up in one phrase: champagne taste on a beer budget. In my 20’s, I took what I could get and was happy living in a cardboard box as long as it had indoor plumbing and electricity. Besides, anywhere you live in your 20’s is decidedly better than your college living experience.
3.) Your metabolism starts to slow at an alarming rate. “I drink a chocolate milk shake and my ass jiggles for like a week.” – Adam Sandler. Truer words have never been spoken.
4.) THE PREGNANCY QUESTIONS! “When are you going to have a baby?” “Are you trying yet?” “You preggo?” “Maybe you’re pregnant.” “So do you have a bun in the oven yet?” “Any baby Ruffles on the way?” “You should really consider freezing your eggs.” And my personal favorite, “You’re no spring chicken you know!” AHHH! Make it stop!
5.) You still feel like you’re 21, can still party like you’re 21, but can no longer recover like you’re 21. It’s unfortunate but it’s time to face the facts.
6.) You get really excited about new cleaning products, vacuums and fancy microfiber mops. “This is life changing!!!” Ok, life changing may be a bit of a stretch but that microfiber mop has seriously changed the way I clean my house. In my 40’s, I hope to be well to-do enough that I can hire someone to do the cleaning for me.
7.) You love to network but only with people you already like and already know. Not to mention, your idea of “networking” is patio beers at our favorite watering hole during happy hour.
8.) You read about things like toxins, parabens and dust mites. You know they are bad for you but don’t exactly know why. What exactly is a toxin anyway?
9.) You wanna look cute, but don’t want to sacrifice comfort. If that strapless bra is at my waist halfway through the day, there’s a 98% chance I am never wearing it again.
10.) You start to hear yourself saying things like, “I hope it rains tonight! We really need the rain!” Who am I???
I can’t wait to see what life in my 40’s brings!
See ya next time!
-The Chic(ish) Chick
*All gifs sourced from giphy.