I live in Iowa and I get it. We’re always late to the party in terms of fashion, music and pretty much everything else. Nevertheless, I like to stay current. The jury is still out on whether that means actually current or current in ‘Iowa years’. I have a serious case of FOMO that has developed into a full-blown disease and this chick doesn’t like to be left behind. Try as I might, there are some trends in 2017 that I just didn’t get. Well Megan, what are they? Not to worry, my faithful reader. I have compiled a list of 9 trends that I just don’t understand. The following is ranked in no particular order.
1. THIGH GAP! WHY…why are we so obsessed with this? Do you know how far apart my legs would have to be in order to achieve the coveted thigh gap? Don’t answer that. The distance is quite alarming.
2. Belt bags. What’s a belt bag, you ask? Click here for a few examples. It’s a FANNY PACK. I’m sorry, but you can’t fancy up a fanny pack by giving it a new name. It is, and always will be, a fanny pack.
3. Stone washed/acid washed jeans. What did we learn from the 80’s? Nothing. We learned nothing. Not sure what I’m talking about? Check them here. This leads me to my next point.
4. MOM JEANS! The show ‘What Not to Wear’ was on the air for 10 seasons. TEN!!! Stacy and Clinton spent an entire decade of their lives begging women across the country to burn their mom jeans. We learned nothing from this show. Nothing!
5. Men donning women’s fashion. I’m talking specifically about the male romper. Yeah, it’s a thing in case you didn’t know. You should also know that apparently men’s dresses and men’s skirts have been all over the runways recently as well. This will eventually trickle down into stores that I probably even like to frequent. Hey if you like it, GOOD FOR YOU! Personally, I prefer my man stay out of my closet.
6. That wet hair look. Perhaps you are in the dark on this one too. Not to worry, you’ll find numerous images of celebrities on the red carpet, fresh out the shower, here. I don’t even like to look at myself with wet hair, because quite frankly, I look like a drowned albino rat. So, I definitely would not be caught dead walking the red carpet that way. But I guess if you’ve got it, flaunt it.
7. Bucket hats. Look at those girls. Do any of these ladies look happy to you? No, because they were forced to wear those ridiculous hats. The identical hat that I begged my mom to buy me when I was in junior high and literally never wore. Why? Because they’re friggin’ ridiculous.
(Photo from Style Watch Magazine.)
8. Crazy eyebrows. If you have a sensitive gag reflex you may want to skip this one. Woof!
9. Long, fake, pointy nails. This trend is not the most extreme of trends, but I have questions. How do you use your phone? How do you type on a keyboard? How do you put on your make-up? Do you have an issue with food particles getting trapped in there? How do you go to the bathroom?
Does this list leave you feeling behind the times? What are some trends you don’t understand?
See ya on the next post.
-The Chic(ish) Chick